


Lithium

by angelsblood



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: (for now) - Freeform, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Kidnapping, M/M, Mental Instability, One Sided Enemies to Lovers, Past Child Abuse, Schizophrenia, Stockholm Syndrome, Teen Frank Iero, Therapy, Trauma, Unrequited Love, probably lots of other stuff but head empty rn !, the chapters get better i promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:34:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26767357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsblood/pseuds/angelsblood
Summary: Gerard's obsessed, Frank's a mess
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Comments: 7
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

Waiting.  
Gerard spent such a significant portion of his life waiting. Waited for his boy to leave school, waited for his boy to open his window in the morning. He didn't mind though. He loved it. The reward of seeing his boys face every day at a never- failing scheduled time brought him nothing but pure joy.

The calmness of the weekend has set in leaving less stress to be present of the faces passing gerard as they jogged or walked their pets. Gerard himself was wasting time in a neighborhood that he was positive he knew better than his own. His scheduled walks gave him more than enough time to memorize each house and twisting roads of the small community. He knew exactly when to begin and end these walks in order to blend in. He'd learned early on in his slowly developing obsession that it was risky to be caught doing nothing in a place you're unknown in for too long. He knew the time his boy opened his window every morning down to the minute. The boy barely ever defied his schedule, it gave Gerard a sense of stability knowing that.

As the time neared, Gerard placed himself on a bench not too far away from his boy's house, decorated with intricate flower carvings that he ran his fingers over absentmindedly when his boy took too long to arrive for him. The seat was conveniently placed for people jogging to have a break, with a water fountain nearby. Gerard never used it though he was much too distracted by the beauty being presented to him through the glass of his boy's window. 

He watched the angelic features of his boy's face light up as his eyes made contact with the sun. He squinted a bit at the sudden light flooding his room and Gerard felt his heart flip in his chest. His boy has these flowers at his window sill that he kept up to the best of his ability. Gerard watched with pride when he watered them every morning, gently touching their petals like they were going to crumble away with the slightest pressure. He watched them die and be replaced, he watched the deep sadness that it caused his boy when he couldn't keep a plant alive. 

Gerard watched saldy as the boy turned his head abruptly and walked towards his door. He had been called by his mother who was in another part of their small house. 

"Frank!" Gerard imagined the woman calling. Or maybe he had a nickname that she called him. "Frankie?" He thought to himself. . .that sounded right. "Frankie!" She probably called from the kitchen. Gerard saw a light and the slim shadow of a woman from the area. 

After that Gerard went home, to his apartment. That was all he needed. One glimpse of his beautiful Frank. 

"Frankie!" Frank's mom called from the kitchen. 

Frank sighed walking to his mother. 

"Frank, why did I get yet another email from your math teacher?" His mother asked with her hand on her hip. 

Frank bit his lip looking down at his thumbs. 

His behavior at school had been the topic of their morning conversations for a while now. At this point Frank came prepared for them. He would've thought that the disappointment in his mother's voice would've  
stopped affecting him by now. Hearing it at least once every week or two Frank wished that he could just be numb to her voice. 

His mom recited an excerpt from the email without a sign of unsureness. He didn't want to imagine the amount of times she'd probably read it over before now. He listened as his actions from the day before were all laid out right in front of him with his head hanging in embarrassment. He hadn't been the one to instigate the fight and so the school had decided to not give him anything other than a warning. Frank knew that he had only been defending himself and that he'd only gotten one punch in before it was broken up. He wanted to interrupt her and explain that that didn't make it much of a fight at all but he decided against it. 

One punch, that's all it took for the other boy's nose to start profusely bleeding and for Frank to get too light headed to stand. It had happened too quick for him to stop it. His adrenaline was making all of his decisions.

"Frank," his mom sighed, placing her palm over her face. "There are other ways to deal with things like that, baby."

Frank nodded; barely even taking in the words that he had heard over one million times. He just stood there waiting for the rest of her semi-prepared speech. Frank was all too keen on it. 

"Violence isn't ever the answer to you getting a little upset, you and me should know that better than anyone, yeah?" 

"I'm sorry ma'." Frank said, trying to cut this short. "It won't happen again." Frank said knowing it most likely would. 

Frank's mother noticed his want to get back to whatever he was previously doing. She sighed with a smile and nodded. "Not again Frank. You'll be suspended for a week." She warned. 

Frank nodded quickly and his mom waved him off with her hand. 

Back home Gerard was studying. He was in college and he was thriving. It was always the most important thing in his life, art. Well that is before he saw his boy. 

Frank was only thirteen at the time but Gerard knew from the get-go that Frank was special. He noticed how sweet and kind the pretty boy was from a young age. So pure, innocent and beautiful. Gerard wanted him. 

But the boy had a family. A broken one at that. Frank's dad had left almost a year ago leaving an angry, confused and hopelessly broken boy and his mother. It broke Gerard's heart to watch Frank fall apart during that time. Knowing that he couldn't comfort him like he wanted. Gerard painterly for the small family. Frank obviously had his own issues. He was violent, yet still innocent and naive. 

He had too many problems, too many things to worry about and Gerard was determined to change that.


	2. Chapter 2

Frank woke up Sunday moring with the still bitter taste of the chalky pills he had taken without water before bed. 

He sighed, getting up and opening his window, letting light in. It was Sunday so he and his mother would be cleaning up around the house. 

"Frank!" His mom called. 

"I'm up!" Frank yelled back knowing his mother was calling to wake him so that he could start laundry. 

He slipped out of bed groggily, wandering untonthe bathroom to shower but not before opening the small window in that room too. Frank had a habit of opening windows for the hell of it. Even as a kid hed open all the windows he could reach. His mom thought it was adorable of course, being the woman she was. Frank's father however, was never too fond of his habit. It felt like a giant "Fuck you" to the man, being able to do the things that he hated now without aby ridicule or threats being thrown his way. 

Frank stepped into the hot stream of gentel water and began to clean himself. He liked his showers to be as quick as possible, the water rushing past his ears paired with the isolation of the stuffy, closed in room was the perfect recipe for his symptoms to show up. He'd been advised by his psychiatrist to avoid doing things that commonly caused episodes but it was difficult to just follow simple instructions sometimes. He was able to convince himself that here was no episoded to fear at all, that he had made everything up and was just wasting everyone's time. He knew that was usually proved wrong when he had those thoughts but he was being reckless yet again. 

everything started so quickly, the pure loudness hovering all around him. He couldn't stop it once it started, all that he could do was wait. You would think that after all this tike he'd be used to it but each episode was just as terrifyingly enthralling as the next.

Frank didn't reply to his mother. He only continued tugging on his hair. It was giving him a headache pretty quickly but he wasn't quite sure what to do anymore. His psychiatrist had told him not to do that. He wasn't very good at listening.

\--

Gerard had noticed that Frank was taking a bit longer in the shower today. By a bit he meant over 45 minutes longer. He was starting to get worried. He could see through the window that Frank was still showering. 

Gerard stood up and decided to take another walk around the neighborhood. Just as he made that decision he looked up to see a crying Frank in his room alone. Gerard's heart truly ached for his boy. He seemed to be extremely distressed by the way he sobbed. Gerard couldn't hear the painful noises his boy was making, but god could he feel them.

Gerard quickly sat back down on his old bench and watched as the boy cried till the point that Gerard questioned if it was even healthy to loose that much water in one sitting. 

Gerard sighed. He wished he could swoop in and save his boy; cradle him in his arms and stoke the boys delicately, tear stained face. Sadly, Gerard couldn't do anything of the sort without being arrested and he doubted he could handle being away from his boy. 

When his boy was finally done dehydrating himself, he stood up and wandered around his room a bit. He seemed worn out from his excessive crying. After pacing his room his boy went to his bed side draw and retrieved the same container of prescription pills from everynight. 

Gerard had no idea what the pills were for, but his boy took them daily. 

Gerard often wondered what was wrong with his boy. He was obviously sick. His poor boy.

When he looked back up he noticed his boy was laying in bed. He was most likely asleep; that amount of crying could wear out anyone. 

Gerard went home after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very short, sorry ! i'll be posting chapter 3 soon :)


	3. Chapter 3

"Sorry, Gee I gotta gotta go; patients here." Mikey told his brother before hanging up. He put his phone in his desk drawer and waited for his next patient and their guardian. 

Mikey was a licensed child psychologist. He absolutely loved his job. Even his brother knew helping others was his true calling. As a child Mikey was always the one to sort out potential fights and have long helpful talks with his friends. Even if the talks were only explaining to a young Gerard why running away from home was not the best reaction to the fact that their mom didn't pick up goldfish from the shops. Still, Mikey thought he was helping and that's all that mattered. 

"Frank!" Mikey greeted kindly. "How nice to see you."

Frank chewed on his lip and didn't look up. It didn't offend Mikey of course, he was used to Frank's silence. 

"Ms. Iero." Mikey greeted with a warming smile. 

"Good afternoon Mr. Way, I'm so sorry that we missed yesterday's appointment. Thank you so much for rescheduling us so soon." 

Mikey waved a dismissive hand. "No need to thank me." 

Ms. Iero smiled. "Hopefully Frank will open up about why we missed out on yesterday." She said obviously trying to send her son a hint. 

Frank looked up for the first time, at Mr. Way then to his mom. Yet the look directed at his mom was more of a scowl than anything. 

Ms. Iero continued as if she didn't see it.

"Well, I'll return at five as usual." She smiled, "I love you." She said while placing a hand on her son's shoulder, so quietly that he wouldn't have been able to tell what shes said if he hadn't been watching her lips. 

"Good luck Mr. Way." 

Then she left. 

She always wished Mr. Way "good luck."  
It was routine. Frank knew why. It was because he never cooperated. At some points he felt bad for Mr. Way. He knew his name was Mikey, due to some quick snooping while he was in the bathroom. 

"Okay" Mikey sighed adjusting himself in his seat ghen smiling lightly at Frank. Frank kept a straight face. 

"So how about we start with what happened yesterday, hm?" Mr. Way proposed. 

Silence. 

"Okay, lets do that then. Was it another attack?" 

He was referring to Frank's panic attacks. They were always big, violent and scary. Frank shuddered and shook his head quickly. 

"Okay, thank you." Mikey said.

"Thank you for what?" Frank spoke. 

Mikey looked almost surprised as he quickly jotted something down. He didn't do that often, because he knew how much Frank hatted it. 

"Thank you for answering me. It only seems to happen once in a blue moon." 

Frank nodded. 

"Can you tell me why, it only happens once in a blue moon?" Mikey asked hoping to drag this speaking thing out as long as possible. 

Frank shrugged. 

Mikey nodded understandingly.

"So, if it wasn't another attack then. . ." Mikey trailed off looking at Frank. 

He nodded once as a response. 

Mikey wrote something down. Frank understood why so it didn't bother him.

"Can you tell me what happened during this episode?" Mikey asked

Frank huffed and complimented lying. Saying that he just heard a loud bang of shattering glass or a non-existent intruder. Because, frankly what had happened was bad. Much worse than what was considered the norm for him and that's what upset him the most. He would be forced to up his medication again and he has barely just adjusted to the one he was on right now. 

Frank leaned back in his chair stroking the arm rest. The chairs next to him were an ugly green color with yellow details lining the little raised areas. The fabric was scratchy and uncomfortable. It simply made Frank sick. So on his first meeting with Mr. Way thats exactly what he told him. 

He sat down, still nervous and even more nauseous. The chairs made him gag even more. 

"These chairs are gross." He had told him that day.

Mr. Way looked at him confused at first. Not offended, just confused. 

"Oh- oh yeah I-I'm sorry uh," he still stammered like that at times when Frank would talk he'd always try and not say the wrong thing so Frank would perhaps talk more. He never did.

Frank stopped zoning out by the third time his name had been called. 

He looked up as a response. 

"What exactly were the voices saying this time, Frank?" 

Loads of lies played through Frank's head. Though, in the end he decided to tell Mr. Way the truth. That's what was best he assumed. 

"There weren't really any comprehensible words. . ." Frank started to explain what had happened to the best of his ability. The fact that none of it was real made it all so much harder to describe out loud. 

His mind was racing. He was wrong, he'd be sure to lie next time. This was much too hard and he'd already spoken way more than he planned to when he sat down. 

"Oh" Mr. Way caught on. 

Frank exhaled, feeling pressure leave his chest. 

Frank nodded and Mr. Way wrote somthing down. 

"Frank our time is almost up, but I must say this was a delightfully successful session." 

Frank pointed to Mr. Way's watch then looked back to him. Mr. Way remembered that that meant Frank wanted to know how much more time was left within the session.

"Oh um, about fifteen minutes so you can read some books as you usually do." 

Frank nodded and stood up to sit near the library area. 

"Next week we'll talk about this certain episode and see about upping your prescription." Mr. Way said, stacking his notes nonchalantly.

Frank stoped and turned around suddenly overwhelmed. He should have lied. 

"No, please!" Frank stifled a sob. 

Mr. Way finally looked up from his papers and noticed what he had done. 

"Oh I'm sorry- I don't know exactly that I'll have to do anything to your current medication, Frank don't be upset." 

Frank nodded frantically and wiped his red, tear-stained cheeks.

"I'm sorry." Frank apologized; now embarrassed after the adrenaline wore down.

"It's fine, Frank I understand." He smiled and dismissed. "Now go on and find a nice book to entertain yourself with." 

\--

"Hey, Mikes." Gerard greeted answering his phone. 

He was at home now watching some boring, brain numbing T.V. show. 

"Sorry I had a patient. An important one too, so you know-"

"It's fine Mikey." Gerard chuckled at his brother's nervous rambling. "Tell me about it." 

Mikey sighed though the phone.  
Gerard already knew it was the highest rule to not expose your patients personal information, or any information at all really. 

"Gee, you know I can't do that." 

"C'mon who would I even tell?" 

Gerard Put out his cigarette and moved over into his kitchen for a glass of wine. He'd gotten so stressed with his plan for his boy; the break he was taking was much deserved. 

"I guess. . ." Mikey debated. "Fuck it" He chucked.

"That's my little bro, breakin' rules and shit. Now spill." 

Mikey chuckled, "well there's this kid. Sweet and kind. He doesn't talk much, but he's real smart, pretty too." 

"Nice." Gerard chuckled. "Now whats wrong with him?" 

"Well hes schizophrenic, so he hears. . . things." 

Gerard furrowed his eyebrows. "Like" 

"It's hard to explain considering I'm not in his head. He never gets too detailed, It's almost like he's scared of me." Mikey sighs.

"I'm sure he's not. You've got you be the least intimidating person I know if that means anything." Gerard assured him. 

"Gee, thanks a whole bunch." Gerard laughed at Mikey's sarcasm. 

"That has to be a lot on a kid, yeah?"

"Most of his days are good days, his bad days though, are really bad. His current mental state is trauma related, his father was abusive." 

Gerard actually felt for this nameless kid. 

"Is he okay?" Gerard asked sincerely.

"I don't know to be honest. It's hard to get him to open up most of the time. I'm lucky to get five words.

Gerard frowned. "Damn." 

"Yeah" Mikey replied. "Oh- gotta go Gee; patient's here." 

"Oh okay, bye Mike's!" 

After Mikey hung up Gerard took one more sip of the dark liquid and pulled out his leather notebook. He had gotten it as a gift from his Grandma, Elena. She was always Gerard's favorite person, so when she passed Gerard was understandably devastated. 

That's when it all started. The simple need for another human to love. He had Mikey and his mom, it just wasn't enough. The one he loved the most had left him with no explanation. She was gone and he was so broken he could barely grieve. And when he did it was completely draining. Depression set in quickly in place of his beloved. A deep, dark, terrifying and never ending sadness had set itself into Gerard's heart and honestly, it never left. He craved for something to replace this dreadful feeling. Something to numb the pain of his loss. . .

Frank. 

Frank had the same routine that Gerard knew by heart. No it wasn't always perfectly but it almost never failed him. 

Frank walks himself to school everyday and on every Monday he stops by the gas station near his house before going. he always buys cigarettes, lights one and smokes it on his journey. Unfortunately, for Frank, he won't be making it to school Monday. 

Gerard would be there at 7:00 waiting on Frank to get there and exit the store forty minuets later. Then Gerard would take action. The store was on a more rough side of Belleville. Belleville itself was no place for someone like Frank. 

Everything was going to change, and soon.


	4. Chapter 4

"Frank, have a nice day at school and please don't get into any more trouble. You really can't afford it." His mother said, putting his lunch into his backpack. 

"I promise I won't." Frank said. Though realistically he had no fucking idea if he would get into more trouble. But if it put less stress on his mother then he would gladly half-lie to her. 

Linda smiled and kissed Frank's cheek like she always did before school.

"I love you, okay?" She said holding her son close to her chest. 

Frank playfully rolled his eyes feeling squished. He knew that his mother was always going to be overprotective after what happened. She always worried and wanted to know where Frank was and if he was okay. He always was, but leave it to Linda to stress herself out over literally nothing. 

"Love you, mama." Frank said when his mother finally released him. 

"Love you more." She replied like she always did. "I'll see you when you get back." 

Linda held the door open for Frank and remained him to pick up his bag that he was about to forget. 

\--

Gerard was there early. He stood against the building with a lit cigarette between his lips and his cell phone in his hand making him look more natural than he would just standing there waiting. 

A few minutes passed, 43 to be exact, and Gerard was beginning to worry. He didn't make it too obvious though he remained patient and rational. He looked at his surroundings really wishing Frank didn't come to this particular store. It was trashy and grimy and everyone there was in their mid forties, overweight , greasy and balding. People like Frank didn't belong around people like that. He wasn't safe here, Gerard thought, considering his size and how young and innocent he looked compared to the others.

From around the corner Gerard caught a glimpse of a short boy in a baggy Black Flag hoodie that had a noticeable bleach stain on the back of it. Frank. 

Gerard lit his third cigarette nad waited with a fast beating heart for Frank to exit the store. The one thing Gerard wad been waiting for for felt like his entire life was about to happen he had everything set up. He had a chloroform soaked rag and his car parked close. He would quickly take an unconscious Frank to his vehicle and drive home. He'd have to keep him there for a while before the could figure out the rest. 

Frank pushed open the glass door causing a ring from the bell. He fulled out a cigarette from his pack and dug around in his pockets for a lighter. He groaned out loud. 

He had left ot at home. He gnawed on his lip and looked around. He didn't see anyone who he'd be comfortable enough to talk to everyone was much too old, large and scary. Especially the trucker who was there for almost every time Frank was. He would stare Frank down and smirk at him. Frank would always just smile back because it seemed like the polite thing to do, but he always made him uncomfortable.

After a few long seconds of freaking out about his lack of lighters he spotted a person he had never seen before. They were young looking unlike everyone else there and had longish black hair. Frank smiled a but to himself because the guy was smoking so he had to have a lighter and he was pretty cute so Frank had no problem talking to him.

"H-Hey." Frank said standing in front of the guy. 

He looked down at Frank ans smiled. Little did Frank know Gerard was doing everything in his power to keep cool because Frank was one-thousand times more perfect up close. 

"Hey." He replied. 

Frank softy smiled back at him because the guy was really really cute when he was looking at him up close.

"I um, left my lighter at home and I- um can I borrow yours?. . . please?" Frank said looking down at his scuffed converses. He couldn't keep eye contact with this guy for some reason. 

"Aren't you a lil' too young to be smoking?" Gerard teased. 

Frank gasped and looked up at the mam wide-eyed. "Oh, I um- guess? I'm sorry." 

"No worries, I started when I was 13." Gerard chuckled. He had heard Frank's voice shortly, maybe once or twice but never like this, all nervous and quivering. He was adorable.

"So can you. . ." 

"Yeah, sure kid." 

Gerard pulled put his lighter that he noticed hid the Black Flag logo scraped into it. Frank noticed and smiled as he held up his cigarette. 

"I like Black Flag." He said softy letting Gerard light it. 

"Oh, yeah? Me too, kid." 

Frank smiled again and brought his cigarette up to his lips. Gerard admired the way Frank smoked. It was almost as beautiful as him. 

"Stop staring." Frank giggled. 

"Sorry. It's hard when you're so pretty." Gerard replied not breaking eye contact. His eyes were so big and green. He gripped the rag in his pocket while he spoke. 

"Oh." Frank blushed. He bad only been called that by one person. His boyfriend. They were on and off. Kind of off right now. Frank knew it wouldn't work out in the end, he was too messed up for anyone to handle. 

"You seem surprised." 

"Oh, no. Well yeah I guess. Thank you." 

"No problem, Frank." 

This guy was so nice. The staring was kind of creeping him out but other than that he seemed to care about him for no reason. He smiled a bit at the man, inhaling from his cigarette before the man's words sunk in. 

"H-How did you know my name?" Frank said looking up at Gerard, suddenly fearful. 

Gerard just smirked. 

"I-I gotta go actually." Frank said turning to sprint. His stomach was turning, he felt sick.

"Shit." Gerard muttered under his breath. 

He grabbed Frank by the arm causing the smaller boy to stumble backwards until he landed against Gerards chest. Gerard got the rag from his pocket and placed it over Frank's face before he caught someone's attention. Frank's limbs loss force as he went limp and his eyes fluttered back into his skull. 

Gerard thought he looked beautiful like that. Unconscious and not able to defend himself. 

Gerard lifted the small boy over his shoulder and walked to his truck. He placed Frank's limp body into the back seat, laying across. He even had a pillow placed for his head so that his neck wouldn't get sore. Gerard went to place a soft kiss on Franks strawberry colored lips but decided against it. He wanted the fist time Frank kissed him to be because Frank wanted to kiss him. Gerard settled for a kiss on the cheek, the same cheek Frank's mother kissed before she watched him walk out the door. 

He had his boy.


	5. Chapter 5

Frank woke up hopelessly confused and scared. 

All he remembered was talking to some guy after getting a light then struggling and blacking out. Now he was tied up in a moving vehicle. He opened his eyes completely and looked around for another person who the mad man could have also kidnapped but he was the only one. He noticed that the restraints on his hands and feet were loose, not loose enough to escape from but loose enough that they wouldn't hurt if he moved. He also noticed the soft pillow under his head that smelled like coffee.

The car was neat and smelled nice. There was no rope or weapons or dried blood and guts that you would expect from the average serial killer. It was all normal. 

"You're awake." Gerard said simply. 

Frank jumped at the sound of another persons voice. He stared at the back of Gerard's seat with wide eyes not responding. 

"You don't have to talk to me yet. I know this must be scary for you, but just know that my intentions aren't to harm you." He said in a calming voice. 

Frank was now even more confused than he was when he first woke up. Why was this guy so nice and if he wasn't going to hurt him then why'd he kidnap him? Frank took in a deep breath preparing himself to speak. 

"W-Why am I here?" He asked. His words came out much more fragile and weak than he wanted them to.  
"Where are you taking me?" He said alot louder. 

Gerard thought for a moment before answering. 

"No more questions."

Frank sucked in his lip ring nervously and said nothing. What he wanted to say was much too cliche. If he had no sense he would beg to be let go and cry and kick until Gerard was forced to shut him up, but he didn't because he wanted to live. The rest of the drive was silent from both ends. The silence from Franks part worried Gerard. What if his boy had gone into shock? Or if he was crying? Gerard wouldn't know until they made it to his house. 

When he stopped the car Frank had already started to doze off so the lack of movement from the car caused him to wake up. He followed Gerard with his eyes as he got out of the car and walked towards the door closest to his feet. Frank sat up quickly and shuffled to the other side of the car. Gerard noticed this and opened the car door, not touching the boy yet. 

"Come on over here, I'm not going to hurt you, Frank." 

Frank still wasn't convinced and didn't budge. He contemplated opening the door that his back was now pressed against and running away but then remembered that his legs were binded just like hus arms. 

"Frank, now." Gerard repeated. 

Frank swallowed thickly. He didn't know this guy yet what if he did want to hurt him? Frank wasnt taking any chances. He squirmed towards his captor, breathing unevenly. 

"There we go." Gerard said placing a hand on Frank's back. Eveytime he touched him he swore he felt electricity at his fingertips. After just watching for so long actually being able to put his hands on Franks warm skin felt unbelievable. 

He helped Frank by putting him in his arms bridal style since he couldn't walk on his own. Frank shook in fear, keeping his hands near his chest. 

"Calm down, Frankie. I've already told you that I'm not going to hurt you." Gerard said. "I could never hurt you." 

Frank gave the man one nod and tried not to whimper. The average person would have tried to fight back. Punch, or kick their captor but no matter how tough Frank tried to be, deep down he was still just a scared little boy looking for attention. So now, in this situation Frank didn't move, speak, or try and get away. Gerard walked up yo the door and struggled only slightly to open the door while holding Frank in one arm. The boy looked all around in amazement at the house. It wasn't some trashy trailer or a creepy run down apartment, The house was a nice size, not too big but definitely not small, and from what he could see now the inside looked well designed also. Gerard sat Frank down on his couch gently and moved some of his hair from his face. His boy was truly beautiful. 

"I'll be right back and then I'll show you your room." Gerard said to him. 

Frank nodded again and looked down at his bound wrists. He was still shocked at all that had happen and his brain was moving slower than usual. How had he gotten kidnapped? This is the type of thing that happened in movies but here he was in an unsettlingly polite strangers house tied up. Now that he had time to collect his thought they were all on two people. The most important people in his life. His mom and his boyfriend. 

He whimpered just thinking of how terrified she would be when he didn't come home from school and how worried Bert would be when he didn't give him a call like he usually did. His mom would probably cry by herself after reporting me missing to the police and contact all of the people he knew asking them when they had last seen him. But that would lead her nowhere because Bert and his friends are the only ones he spoke to. Simply thinking of his mom upset made his eyes sting. He couldn't help it when a tear was released and rolled down his cheek. 

"Oh" Gerard muttered. He paused walking and forgot what was previously on his mind when he saw his boy sniffing with a few tears nearing his neck since he couldn't wipe them. 

Frank hadn't noticed Gerard's presents until he was a few feet infront of him. He was partly embarrassed because he was crying like a baby in front of this man, but that only led to him letting out a little whimper when thinking about it.  
His lip quivered as he looked up at Gerard, trying to keep it together. 

"What's the matter?" Gerard asked. "Are the ropes too tight?" 

Frank stared at the man, astonished. How could he ask what was wrong after kidnapping him? But instead of trying to talk sensibly to a man who just took him he nodded because the ties were a bit uncomfortable.

"Aw, look at you." Gerard cooed as Frank lifted his hands for them to be loosened. Instead, surprising, he took the silky ties off. After his hands he wend down to his feet and untied them too. "You're going to be a good boy for me aren't you?" He asked sure of himself.

Frank nodded, happy to be unconfined.

Frank coughed and cleared his throat. It felt dry and itchy, he usually drank after smoking so this was probably why. "Can I get some water?" He asked nervously.

"What kind of kid asks for water?" Gerard asked.

Frank shrugged. He was a weird kid. 

"How about some punch, or a Capri Sun?" Gerard asked, trying to make Frank feel less threatened.

"Capri Sun?" Frank asked shyly.

"I knew you'd choose that." Gerard said to himself walking to the fridge. Frank's mom would always come home with Capri Suns for Frank after shopping so he went out to get some when preparing.

Before giving Frank his drink something dawned upon him, Frank didn't know his name. As soon as the random thought entered his mind he was already opening his mouth to correct the issue. 

"Hey," Gerard said to catch Frank's attention, even though he already had it. Frank then, instead of staring at the drink in Gerard's hands, looked up to make eye contact with the man.  
"My name is Gerard, that's what I want you to call me okay?" 

Frank hesitated a second, letting the information seep in before nodding. The name was odd, especially for a man who wasn't over fifty, but still Frank liked it. It worked well with him somehow. Frank nodded nervously, just eager for his drink and Gerard smiled.

He handed Frank the pouch and Frank grabbed it quickly like a small animal meeting a human for the first time. Gerard thought that it was cute how quickly all of Frank's confidence drained just because of him. He was more like a baby than a teenager now. All small and afraid. He felt honored to have Frank so vulnerable around him even if it wasn't their choice. Frank drank the contents of the pouch quickly, never looking away from his captor in fear of them doing something to him while he was off guard. Though Gerard just waited until he was done with a a soft, subtle smile. Frank knew that it was stupid of him and he knew that this could cost him his life in the future but he couldn't help it. He wasn't afraid. Well, not as afraid as he should be. Frank would describe how he felt right now as "on edge" more than being scared. The man's soft voice and gentle touch made it impossible for him to fear them, though he had no idea what he would do next. It would only take seconds for this Gerard character to flip his switch and press a blade to his throat. 

"All done?" Gerard asked when he noticed Frank blowing air in and out of the pouch.

"Mmhm" He hummed. 

Gerard took the empty container and threw it away. On the way back to his boy he passes the plan on his refrigerator door, smiling at it, he crumpled the paper in his hands and threw it away.

"Gerard?" A small voice called from the living room.

Gerard practically ran to see if his boy was okay. When he entered the living room he was relieved to see that Frank wasn't hurt, just worried.

"What's the problem, Frankie?" 

Frank looked down at his lap, embarrassed that he was actually worried about the man who kidnaped him. Or more reasonably worried about what he would be doing while he wasn't in Frank's presence.

"I didn't know where you went." He said.

"Aw, sugar I would never leave you." Gerard cooed. He was nothing like Frank's father, that man deserved death.

A normal person in Frank's situation wouldn't find comfort in those words, in fact a normal person would be disturbed by words like those. But for some reason Frank wouldn't qualify as normal right then.


	6. Chapter 6

When Gerard offered to show Frank around the house he agreed almost excitedly. He hated himself for acting this way but he couldn't help it. Gerard was nice to him and caring and he didn't seem like he wanted to har Frank at all. Or maybe that was just Frank's mind playing tricks on him, trying to make the situation seem less terrible. 

The first room Gerard took him to was Frank's own. It was simple, a bit larger than his real room it was painted a pretty sky blue color.  
The bed was queen sized and looked warm and inviting after the day Frank had. 

"How do you like it? I know it's plain right now but when we eventually go shopping you can add on to it." Gerard said. He prayed that Frank liked what he had done for him. Frank being happy was all that mattered right now. 

"Yeah- Yeah I like it." Frank nodded. 

Gerard smiled, watching was boy wander his new room absentmindedly admiring how pretty he looked when he wasn't thinking. 

Suddenly Frank looked up at nothing in particular with a curious expression before turning to Gerard. 

"When we go shopping, for my stuff, I'm coming to?" He asked. Surprisingly Frank wasn't thinking about escaping right then. 

"How else would I know what to buy for you?" Gerard asked. 

"Oh. . . Okay." Frank felt more hope for escaping. 

Gerard nodded and watched as Frank looked at his surroundings. "Do you have anything that you want off the top of your head?"

Frank shook his head, "I wasn't really expecting my captor to be so generous." 

Gerard cringed at Frank's wording. The last thing he wanted to be in Frank's eyes was some kidnapper. It would be harder to manipulate the boy if he was already making him out to be the enemy. 

"Don't call me "your captor," Frank, you're going to be happy here." Gerard stated firmly. 

Frank looked surprised at first but soon his expression turned understanding. 

"I'm sorry, Gee." He apologized. 

Gerard had no idea whether Frank was actually submitting to him or just playing along at that point and honestly Frank wasn't too sure either. 

•••

The rest of the house was just as nice and there was no blood-stained basement that Gerard used to torture people so Frank felt a little safer. 

The house didn't seem to have any iron doors or heavy duty locks to keep him in. It's almost like Gerard just expected him not to leave on his own. Frank couldn't decipher whether Gerard was stupid or insanely smart for that. 

Gerard let him roam the house getting familiar with it while he made dinner. He assured Frank that his plate would be vegetarian when he saw the worried look on the boys face. Frank couldn't stop himself from smiling at the small detail. The fact that someone other than his mother took his needs into consideration was fucking up his sense of logic. 

Frank found himself in Gerard's room after a while looking through the man's closet and personal belongings that were definitely none of his business. Still he found it impossible to discover anything creepy about the man other than his delusions. Frank raked his fingers over the deep blue bed sheets, soft and untidy. He imagined Gerard sleeping peacefully between the sheets, how lovely his gorgeous features would look at rest.

As he lazily looked around the room something caught his eye. He walked over to Gerard's desk noticing the closed laptop next to the tablet. Frank knew that it was a complete invasion of privacy but he couldn't help but let his curiosity get the better of him. He swiftly picked the book up, like someone would take it from him if he moved to slowly, and ran his fingers down the cold, spiraled spine. The book seemed old and worn, the damaged edges and faded colors on the cover made it's age apparent. Frank took a look over his shoulder to the door, making sure that Gerard was still busy in the kitchen, before peeling the cover back and exposing the random page.

Frank nearly gasped at the site. Gerard was truly talented. The characters, all seemingly original were incredibly detailed and yet still cartoonish and simplistic. He smiled softly to himself as he went through page after page of the comic-like illustrations and other random figures and designs. Among all of the characters there were sketches of real people too. The skill that Gerard obtained made Frank jealous in a way. He wasn't good at anything. There was nothing special that came off the top of his head about him. . . nothing positive at least. 

He had only gone though four pages before Gerard was calling, alerting him that his food was ready. He jumped at the sound of his voice and quickly sat the book down in its place. 

"Frank?" Gerard called again when there was no response from the boy. 

"Sorry," Frank replied this time, "I was just looking around." He hoped that the guilt he was feeling didn't seep through into his voice. He had no idea how Gerard would react to his plundering. 

Gerard Grinned, turning to grab another Capri-sun from the fridge. "Thats nice, I want you to become as familiar with our house as possible as quickly as possible." 

Frank felt nauseous. 

"I hope you like it, i'm not a professional at vegetarian food so a stir fry was the best I could come up with." Gerard said. 

Frank nodded understandingly, he knew that he was difficult and the food looked more than edible. 

"If you don't like it I can go out and get you whatever you'd like, I just didn't want to leave you alone." Gerard said. He spoke with no kind of attitude or falseness, like he'd get up right then to go get Frank something else if he asked with no question. 

Frank smiled a bit, not trusting himself to open his mouth and say anything without regretting it seconds later. 

•••

Frank was going to die. 

Not because of actual physical harm to himself or fear of Gerard doing anything, but from the lack of human contact. It hasn't been long at all but i felt like a lifetime.

He didn't have his mom there to hug him and kiss his forehead or his best friend to talk to when he was anxious. 

It wasn't like he was alone in the house. Gerard was almost always home except for when he was at work and that never lasted longer than an hour or three since he worked from home. Gerard was nice and calm and respectful towards Frank at all times, never touching him or anything in his room without permission. With that said, it was obvious that Gerard wouldn't show him any signs of physical affection without being asked to either. For a normal person, that would be amazing, but not for Frank. 

He thrived from the touch and care of others  
because he was a needy bitch but no one needed to know that, especially not the man who kidnapped him. 

A week felt a lot longer when you were forcing yourself to avoid the only person who existed in your life. 

"Frank," Gerard said, turning the volume of the TV down. They were watching some low budget romance film that Frank picked out because it seemed the least stressful 

"Hm?" 

"I-" Gerard chuckled hopelessly, "I don't bite you know?"

Frank nodded. "I know." 

"So, you can be closer. If you want to be closer." He said softly. "You can talk to me if you're sad or happy, or I don't want you to feel lonely or anything." Gerard said. 

Frank didn't know how to answer him. He was lonely, terrifyingly so.

"Okay." 

•••

As the days passed Frank got more and more scared But not of Gerard, never of Gerard, but himself instead. He needed his meds and his therapist. He complained when they were accessible but now here he was on the brink of tears as he stresses about the pill bottles near his bed. 

He wondered if they were still there. in the same place that he left them time that he took them. he wondered if his mother had cleaned his room out of stress or whether she'd left it alone in hopes that he will be back. would he be back?

He sat on the comfortable bed that didn't belong to him and clothes that his mother didn't buy curled in a ball of self pity and fear. He needed to tell Gerard. If he didn't something bad could happen. . . something bad would happen. his paranoia was starting to keep him up at night. he was constantly waiting for something to happen for someone to try and hurt him. He knew that nothing was there to hurt him deep down, that everything he feared was all in his head but it was hard to convince yourself that you could make entire fears on your own. 

when he got like this at home he would just go to his mamas room he curled up by her unconscious body because he was protected when others were around. Now he slept alone every single night. He didn't notice that he was crying until he could taste the saltiness on his lips. He wiped his face with the back of his wrist and pull the covers over his legs. The room was pitch black The only thing illuminating was the moon through his window. The thin white curtains created abstract patterns the shifted every once in a while due to his fan.

He hated when it was dark, it was basically field day for his imagination. Figures appeared and disappeared leaving him terrified every few minutes as soon as his heart slow down he would imagine something else and the cycle continued. this was nothing though, he could handle this perfectly. Being afraid was something that even children could get over.

It was the sounds that he dreaded. He couldn't handle them. 

Frustrated an unbelievably tired Frank lied down, looking up at the ceiling. He wondered how Gerard would react when he told him. Would be be mad? No never, Gerard wouldn't get angry at him for something he can't control. Gerard cared about him and wanted him to be happy. He'd figure it out. 

With that thought, Frank drifted off. He was too tired to be disappointed in his dependence on Gerard. The thought of the mad was too comforting. 

••• 

The next morning Frank didn't wake up at his usual time due to his terrible night. When he did wake up, it was to Gerard with a tray of food. 

"I made you breakfast in bed so you wouldn't have to get up completely." He said setting the tray at his lap. 

"Thank you." Frank replied. 

Gerard nodded, "Did you not sleep well?" He asked casually as he set everything up in Frank's lap. 

Frank chewed on his lip, debating on his answer. 

He shook his head instead of giving Gerard a verbal answer but that wasn't rare at all. Gerard made a face of pity and brought over a glass of juice to the tray last. 

"You can rest a bit more after you eat if you'd like to but I've got to go to the grocery store soon." 

Before Frank could stop himself or think properly his mouth was moving, 

"I want to come." 

Gerard was just as surprised as he was, after Frank's mood recently he would never had thought that Frank would want to go out in public with him alone. 

"Can I come please?" He asked when Gerard didn't answer right away. He didn't care if he sounded desperate, Gerard wouldn't judge him for it. 

Gerard was suddenly cupping his face gently with an unreadable expression. Frank assumed he was considering thoroughly, he didn't blame him. He leaned into Gerard's touch as he awaited an answer. 

So pliant that it was disgusting,

In Gerard's head, his thoughts were racing. A few weeks ago he wouldn't have even considered letting Frank out of the house this soon but now with Frank in front of him, looking as sweet and innocent as a new born, he was definitely becoming persuaded to make the obviously reckless decision. 

He knew the risk. The risk of Frank running away from his screaming bloody murder about being kidnaped while the neighbors stared in horror. He could hear the blaring sirens as the police came to take him away from his love. He wouldn't survive in prison. Not without Frank around to keep him breathing and sane. 

"Gerard." Frank's angel's song of a voice called to him. 

Frank was no longer sitting on the bed in front of him, instead the boy was seated on the floor in front of his legs. The boy knelt with the tip of his chin just barely touching Gerard's knee. When Gerard returned back to reality from him trance of terrifying thoughts he made eye contact once again with his boy. He would never get tired of seeing his boy's eyes up close. Gorgeous and bright even after all that he went through his eyes were still bright with innocence and hope.

Hope for his escape. 

Gerard's heart burned with intense feelings of anger at the thought. He'd never been a rage filled person but for Frank he was sure he could be anything. 

The boy has placed his cheek at his knee now, taking advantage of his slightly parted thighs to inch his way between them discreetly. His warm cheek caused shivers to run up and down Gerard's spine and while he did his best to keep his feelings concealed the glimmer of mischief in those puppy-dog-eyes Frank was showing him told him that Frank knew exactly what effect he had on the older man.

Gerard hand slithered slowly to his boy's soft hair gently running through the chocolate colored strands and detangling the few knots as he went. 

"How bad do you want to go?" The question had no reasoning behind it, he swore that his lips were moving even before his thought was complete. 

Frank still seemed un-phased, "So bad, Gee." He said softly, "I'll do anything, I just need to get out of the house for a bit please?" 

He begged. It should've shamed Gerard to know that a few seductive words could sway him so easily but it didn't, not at all. 

"I don't need to be bribed." Gerard stated, his hand never pausing from it's simple movements on his boy's head. 

Frank obviously tensed, waiting on Gerard to follow up on his statement. 

This was how it should be, Gerard thought. A balance of comfort, but never the confidence to feel like he was the one in power.

"I suppose I'll bring you along, get dressed." He said. A little smile spread across Frank's lips. 

He left the room so that his boy could get changed out of the oversized shirt and shorts that he seemed to wear every night. 

Walking towards his room he tried his hardest not to rethink his decision. He made the right choice. He always did make the right choices, if not then how would his beloved boy be with him in the first place. Self doubt was a terribly damaging weakness. 

He reminded himself over and over as he dressed that he wouldn't let anything go wrong. He couldn't bare the thought of losing his boy after just obtaining him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if there's any errors !


	7. Chapter 7

The store looked a lot bigger than he remembered. Maybe it was because every step he took now was savored, as if it were his final. Gerard's hand was firm on his and, embarrassingly he was gripping Gerard's just as tight. 

They walked close, Frank's head coming in contact with Gerard's bicep every few moments. He wondered how they looked to the public. Did everyone assume that Gerard was Frank's father? Brother? Boyfriend? Or did people take them as friends? He doubted the last one. What friends walked hand and hand this close. 

"Are you nervous?" Gerard asked the younger boy. 

"Why would I be nervous?" Frank asked not exactly denying the assumption. 

"You're holding on to my hand pretty tight," Gerard said with a teasing smile that made Frank blush a lovely color. "Not that I mind, I'd much rather this than being left wondering if running away from me was on your mind." He said suggestively. 

Frank looked up to Gerard with his eyebrows drawn together. He couldn't explain why but the offense that he felt from Gerard thinking that of him made his mood dampen. 

"I'm not." He said after a few uncomfortable seconds. 

Gerard raised an eyebrow, "You're not what?" 

Frank regretted speaking in the first place. 

"Not thinking about running away." Not now anyways. 

Gerard smiled confidently. It made Frank wonder if he already knew. If he had only suggested that Frank wanted to escape to see his reaction. If that was the case he had fallen right into Gerard's trap. 

•••

Frank pouted the rest of the trip. 

Gerard noticed almost immediately and quite honestly he found it amusing. 

He teased his boy every once in a while by asking him to collect an item from a different  
aisle, giving him the chance to leave him if he'd like, toying with the boy for the hell of it. At first it made him nervous. He was sure that he'd leave him without a second thought but by the third time his boy came back handing him the requested item with an unreadable exasperation all feelings of anxiety disappeared. 

This was training him, he thought. Justifying his actions. 

Forcing his boy to make the smart decision himself. Soon escaping will be the very last thing on Frank's mind. It would just take time and work, and Gerard would be more than happy to out those things in.

"In the cart," Gerard said to Frank when he returned. He'd been instructed to grab a snack for himself and unsurprisingly he brought back with him a box of blueberry flavored Pop-tarts.  
Frank wordlessly did as he was asked, still frustrated with Gerard but mostly himself. So far he had embarrassingly lost every battle that Gerard has set up between he and his less than perfect instincts. After a while a it started to feel right. Coming back each time to the taller man's degrading smile. He was going mad that must be it.

Gerard decided not to ask him about what was troubling. If Frank wanted his emotions to be know he would have to learn to voluntarily talk to Gerard. They wouldn't get anywhere if Gerard forced every response from him. The torture of not speaking would eventually get to him. He'd break himself so that he didn't have to. 

After a while Frank noticed that by the ingredients Gerard was collecting, or having him collect, that he was going to make some sort of pasta. Frank felt like tearing up as he stared uncomfortably at the box of noodles and sauces in the cart. The same brand of tomato sauce that his mother used when she made his favorites. 

He missed her. 

The way that her perfume lingered in the house hours after she'd gotten ready in it and left for work, or the way she made him feel like the center of the universe even when the bills were piling up on the table. How warm and caring she was while she suffered, how she made him feel like it was all okay when it most definitely wasn't. 

He found himself scowling at the back of his captors head as he followed like an idiot.

He could never show him the same affection. Give him that same reassurance of safety. He couldn't replace her or anyone else in his life—the life that he had been forcefully ripped out of like a bandaid from a bleeding wound. His life was far from perfect, with his father being absent and he and his boyfriend's less than perfect "relationship." Not to mention his own special problems going on right inside of his head. Still, he liked his dysfunctional life as it was, or at least he was able to convince himself that he was content. 

Now it was all different. Changing quickly and permanently. He hated change, and commitment. Maybe it ran in the family, a trait passed down from his father. The idea of decisions, big and small, impacting the way you existed for eternity didn't sit well with Frank. And now, here he was, being placed into a situation he had no time to prepare for. It was like God was playing dolls with his life, moving things around while he desperately tried to drag them back into place, to keep them where they were. He hated change, but then again commitment was even scarier. 

Gerard was playing God. The smug son-of-a-bitch with the soft looking black hair and and the calming voice. The voice that told him he was okay and loved. He felt as if his brain was trying to separate Gerard into two different men. One that would care for him how he promised and make him happy, and the man who had taken him without a care in the world of how he felt. The man who saw him as an object to take for their own. He knew that it wasn't healthy, or helping him at all with this whole "getting away" thing, but who was he to tell his brain what to do. He was just Frank. 

The gentle tap, tap, tap of the man's sole against the smooth vinyl tile were slowing now. It was only background noise of the disarray of thoughts in his mind but it caused him to break out of his talking-to-himself-bubble. He looked up from his own dark blue converse with stickers from last spring stuck to the toe cap to see Gerard his captor coming to a stop. 

They were at a check out line ran by a 5'2-ish girl in her mid 20's obviously uninterested in her job, or better yet existence judging from the unwavering look on her face when she said "Good evening, sir." with zero enthusiasm. 

Frank kept his mouth shut tight as Gerard payed for the food watching carefully as the despondent worker attempted to scan his blueberry and poptarts once, then again, two more times before looking up at Gerard with her brown eyes still half-lidded to say, "The barcode is scratched." 

Gerard hummed accepting the box back and examining the barcode, "That it is." 

Frank was blatantly staring at the two now, genuinely concerned for the fate of his poptarts. He thought for a few seconds before speaking.

"I could go get a another one. One that isn't scratched." He offered. The words sounded twenty times more normal than he thought they would when we was letting the words roll around on his tongue. They were perfect, they made scene and wouldn't make anyone question him. 

Gerard made eye contact with him, awfully calm making Franks legs go a little weak. 

"Make it quick, Frankie." Gerard said with a little smile. 

Frank turned slowly before walking so quick that he thought that he'd fall onto the shiny waxed floor. His feet made him go into the direction of the poptarts, he let himself be on auto pilot for now. He grabbed the same flavor, blueberry, his mouth nearly watered at the thought of the artificial fruit. He thought while holding the box about the last time he'd had blueberry poptarts. I'd been months. And now Gerard was buying them for him, like someone who cared for him would. Did Gerard care for him. . . Of course he did. Who would go through all of this for someone they didn't care for. Frank grunted closing his eyes tightly. 

"Are you alright?" 

Frank flinched at the sound of someone else's voice. A voice that wasn't his own or Gerard's. 

"I'm—I'm okay." Frank said not taking his eyes off of the shelves full of pastries. 

"Are you sure?" The woman asked, "You seem a bit scared." She seemed so genuinely concerned. Frank couldn't trust them, no matter how sincere they seemed, everyone was a fake. 

"Yes." Frank said bluntly. He tucked the box of poptarts to his chest and turned to walk away. He was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. The woman, once again pressed him to speak, "Honey, who are you here with?" Her hand still on the boy's shoulder. 

Frank's breathing quickened. His time was running out, Gerard was probably angry and suspicious now. She'd ruined his chance of getting away. 

"Don't touch me!" Frank growled out jerking away from her stinging touch. Two people farther down the isle turned their attention to him, making it all worse. The woman backed up, making their distance obvious to the people behind them for her own sake most likely. Her blue eyes were wide as they stared back at him with shock. 

The tension made him lip quiver. No one wanted to be looked at like that, like they'd sprouted an extra limb by a complete stranger. He wanted to be in a Gerard's comforting arms right now. 

He turned around quickly, walking on shaky legs to get back to the register, disappointed in himself for not talking this opportunity to take his life back. He was so pathetic, even with his escape right in front of his face, he couldn't take the simple steps to leave. 

He felt the cold air hitting his face, making the tears running down his check more apparent. He whipped his fave with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. The closer he got to Gerard the more his headache eased, his breathing was falling back on track. 

The moment that he was within reach, He wrapped his arms around Gerard's waist, letting out a sob into the man's shirt. He dropped the package of poptarts onto the conveyor belt not even bothering to apologize for holding up the line. 

"Frankie?" Gerard asked, reciprocating the tight hold that Frank had on him once he'd realized what was happening. The woman behind the register barely reacted, carefully reaching for the poptart box and scanning it. 

"85.97." She says. 

Frank doesn't let up so Gerard works around him, handing the cashier a $100 bill and kissing the top of his boys head as he waited for his change. Frank sighed into Gerard's chest, holding him tighter, wanting to be as close as possible to Gerard.

The cashier sent Gerard a sad smile. Probably out of respect, a loving father comforting his flustered son. Or maybe a boyfriend, Gerard wasn't too sure of what they looked like together. 

He took the money and receipt, Frank taking the hint and detaching himself so that Gerard could get the bags. He felt a bit bad having Gerard cary everything but he didn't seem to mind, moving all of the bags to one arm and hand to press him up against his side as they walked. 

Frank waited in the car as Gerard put the bags in the trunk. Now that they were alone Frank felt his embarrassment triple from his behavior earlier. When the driver's side door opened he closed his eyes dreading being asked what had happened. 

Gerard settled inside of the car, turning on the heater and filling the car with music just quiet enough to diffuse some of the tension. Frank felt better once he was warmed up and found himself relaxed muscles that he didn't know were tensed. 

Still surprisingly, Gerard hadn't said a word about what had happened, only asking him if he had anywhere he wanted to go to which he responded, "No, just home please." The second the words left his mouth he wanted to reach out and grab them before they reached Gerard but it was too late. "It's alright, we can head home now." Gerard responded comfortingly. He deflated against his seat as the car started, turning his head to face the window. He, for the first time, wanted Gerard to get them back to the house quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i hope everyone is doing okay !! chapter 8 tomorrow :)


	8. Chapter 8

Gerard had made dinner while Frank watched from the counter. His legs dangled over the edge, Gerard walking around his carefully as he put together their meal. In the end though, Frank had declined a plate for himself.  
Gerard stood in front of him tilting his head a bit, the point of his nose creating a sharp shadow on his cheek. Frank's lips parted slightly as he took in the man's features he was so pretty, like a pixie but the slight scruff on his cheeks and bushy brows had a contrasting effect. Frank dug his nails into the counter a bit to stop himself from reaching his hand up and touching Gerard's face, just to feel how soft the skin was. He found himself too caught up in his admiration to be tense at the man's almost eerie silence, the only thoughts in his head right then were of how gentle Gerard's eyes were as they gazed into his own. He felt unmistakably safe right then, all of the excess panic from earlier dissolved. 

He held his breath waiting for the older man's response. 

Gerard didn't seem upset at all. In fact he looked sympathetic if anything. 

"I'm sorry." Frank mumbled, breaking their eye contact and looking down, only to see how close their bodies were. He felt his face heat up as he looked away. "I'm just not feeling well?" He said with little confidence. 

"Of course." Gerard said. "Would you like me to run you a bath?" He offered kindly. 

"No." Frank said too quickly, be swallowed and cleared his throat. "I'm. . .okay, you don't need to do that for me. Thank you though. For the offer." His nervousness was blatant. He wasn't afraid of Gerard trying anything with him but the simple act of running him a bath felt too intimate, like he was agreeing to too much. 

Gerard began to say something, Frank watching his lips part with trepidation in fear of the man asking any more questions. Before he could begin his sentence there were three gentle taps at the door behind him. They started at each other once more. Frank's eyes were wide with terror like the world was about to come crumbling down on them right in the middle of the kitchen. His hands were on autopilot as they grasped at Gerard's own for some kind of stability. Gerard's heart swelled in his chest as if an angle had touched him, in his mind one had. Frank looking pitifully desperate for him, grabbing onto him like a lifeline, it was nearly too much to take all at once. He couldn't help but smile a bit at the boy all while knowing that it wouldn't bring him any solace. 

"You're okay." He said simply, running his thumb over the back of his boy's hand. "Go to your room and shut the door, don't come out until I come get you." Frank could feel the authority in his voice, leaving no room for argument. He trusted that Gerard knew what was best, without a second thought he headed quickly for his room. 

He shut the door quietly, immediately bringing his thumb nail up to his lips to gnaw on. His chest felt tight from him holding his breath. He stilled himself, not moving one muscle as he heard the familiar creak of Gerard's front door. He could hear Gerard's gentle voice welcoming someone in, warm and inviting. The words being said were muted and fuzzy through the thick wood he had his head pressed against. The second voice was light and much harder to hear than Gerard's though as they stepped deeper into the house it became more clear. Frank attempted desperately to decipher the words being said between the two but it was impossible, especially with his heart pounding as loud as it was. 

Mentally he was screaming at himself for being so spineless. He had the perfect opportunity to escape, the door was just about to be opened if only he'd stood his ground a bit longer. He assumed that the people Gerard associated himself with weren't also insane and wouldn't approve of what was happening to him. But the anxiety-ridden, pessimistic side of him made sure to heavily consider the idea of this undisclosed man being in on the whole thing. The more that he mused himself with the idea the less ridiculous it seemed to him. Up until this point he'd presumed that Gerard had conducted his capturing all on his own, not that it would've been difficult with him basically walking right into the man's trap almost willingly. There was no need for any help during the deed of abducting him but for what purpose was he taken in the first place? Gerard seemed to not understand himself, never giving much of an explanation for why he'd taken Frank. What if it hadn't been for Gerard pleasure at all, he thought. In that case, this room served as nothing more than a holding cell. The boy paced his room silently, his state of disquietude leaving him too nauseous to make any noise even if he wanted to. He brought both of his hands up to his face that was now damp with tears he hadn't noticed fall. He could almost laugh himself, feeling completely impuissant against his own emotions. He was a wreck, both his heart and body ached for Gerard and the reassurance he brought, the gentle touch of his fingers to his cheek. Even while he feared the man and his intentions he felt like the only escape from the terrifying thoughts that he'd created. The room seemed to sway a bit even when he found the control to stand still. A trembling exhale escaped his parted lips as his eyes focused on the door. As he stood still, his heart slowing from its erratic pace, he could hear the faint laughter of the two men. Quickly, he locked the door. 

\--

Gerard had expected himself to be a mess of nerves and sowed thoughts, so much so that he wasn't even sure how he'd be able to speak to his brother when he answered the door. He was greatly astounded when Mikey sat down next to him on the couch, the same one that Frank had sat in while shaking with fear, and he was still more than capable of carrying on their conversation. Unsurprisingly, his brother was much more of a listener than one to lead conversations. 

At first he wondered why. With the only thing standing between his boy and freedom being a wooden door why was he still behind it. He hadn't planned to test his boy's trust this soon, especially while he was in such a delicate state. They still had not spoken about the incident at the store earlier. It had obviously left the boy a bit shaken, Gerard could tell by Frank's nervous glances as he had made them dinner that there was conflict happening in his head, something that he wasn't confident enough to tell Gerard yet. At first the thought of Frank being left all alone in his room along with his thoughts made Gerard's chest tighten with anxiety. He had an entire area of the house all to himself, he could easily slip away through a window and within minutes the police would surely be at his door with their handcuffs ready and a disgusted look on their faces at what Gerard had done. He couldn't let that happen, his brother couldn't know what was happening. He felt so stupid having bassicaly placed his life into Frank's trembling hands. In fact, nothing was stopping Frank from walking right out infront of his brother and pleading with him to save him. Mikey wasn't like him, he wouldn't understand why he needed Frank, surely he would never speak to him again.

Gerard tried to calm himself by listening to Mikey, at first he was only able to respond in short hums or nods which obviously make his brother uncomfortable but after a bit he'd forgotten to glance at the hall every thirty seconds. Slowly as time went on all of Gerard's worries faded away. He felt great pride in knowing that his boy had already learned to be obedient, listening to him without question. The smug feeling gave him enough confidence to fix the two of them food, he didn't feel comfortable being too far away from the hall that he couldn't hear if Frank were to open his door but he had already insisted that Mikey try some. They spoke over dinner casually, Gerard having to quickly come up with a reason for the amount of pasta he'd cooked. To Mikey, he should have only been cooking for one person. He kept his composure, simply saying that he'd measured incorrectly and Mikey seemed to accept his excuse fairly well. 

His brother was usually a calm person, only really speaking when spoken to or when he had a joke that was almost guaranteed to make everyone laugh so it wasn't a surprise that he wasn't going to deep into his day as they spoke but gerard also knew that Mikey was a pro at avoiding things that were troubling him. 

The man looked up from his nearly empty plate when Gerard spoke to him. "Huh?" He said. 

"I asked if something was bothering you." He repeated. 

"How'd you know?" He said with a small, sad smirk. "I wouldn't say bothering me. I mean I know what's happened. I'm just devastated. . . I guess." 

He frowned, not really expecting something like that from him, "Shit, what happened?" 

"Well I have a patient who I think I might've illegally told you about at one time, They stopped coming a while back and his mother recently told me that he's been missing." He said, shaking his head. 

Gerard swallowed, he knew the chances were ridiculously slight but he couldn't help but wonder. 

"God, that's terrible. Is the kid. . . is he stable? Maybe he ran away or-" 

"No He wouldn't have done that. He's shy and he cares a hell of alot about his mom. Running away is just not something he just would do, just because he has a mental disorder doesn't mean anything." His cheeks tinged pink as he felt himself grow embarrassed. 

Gerard was a bit taken back by Mikey's passion defending his patient. He apologized, not wanting Mikey upset with him. 

"its alright, I didn't mean to be so dramatic. I'm just worried, you know? I just hate to imagine what could have happened to him, I just know he isn't wherever he is. . .voluntarily." Mikey said solemnly. He stared down at his feet as he spoke, almost like he felt guilty for all of this. Gerard wanted to assure his brother that he was in no way capable of stopping anything that might've happened but he had more concerning things on his mind. 

"When was the last time you saw him? The boy. . . you haven't told me his name." Gerard said hoping desperately that patient confidentiality didn't still apply when said patient was missing. 

"Oh. . . well it's been about a month or so. I'm not sure." He said with furrowed brows, "I suppose it doesn't really matter now, his name is Frank." Mikey admitted. 

Gerard inhaled steadily, nodding. This was all too risky, he felt so stupid not having thought of this, there was no way that he could've known but still he couldn't help but beat himself up mentally. The lack of connection was what was keeping him safe, he was sure that by now the police had spoken to all of Frank's friend's and teachers, trying to pry out any bit of information that they could. Gerard could be next, they could be on the way right now as he sat waiting unknowingly. 

He started at his brother, his sorrowful face no longer hidden now that he'd let out what was worrying him. Only briefly did Gerard allow himself to ponder the possibility of Mikey wearing a wire, or only being there to squeeze evidence out of him. He was able to read his brother much too clearly for that to work. 

His panicking was cut short when Mikey spoke again. "I can get you a news paper if you want." Mikey offered with a small smile. 

"Huh" 

Mikey pushed his glasses up on his nose, " I see you're interested, I've got a newspaper that's got Frank in it. His mom's not wealthy or anything but people around town have been putting money together to help her with all the adds and all that. . ." He trailed off, waving his hand around, "Turns out it's pretty fucking expensive to lose a kid." 

"I didn't mean to seem insensitive, it's just. . .interesting yeah." He agreed, "You don't have to, if the paper is important to you, I see why you'd want to keep that." Gerard said, still knowing that Mikey would be giving it to him anyways. He almost felt bad taking advantage of his brother's generosity. 

"No i've got like 3 of them!" Mikey assured him. "I mean, yeah he was such an interesting kid, Is I mean. . ." He corrected himself. 

Gerard looked over at his brother with false concern, still sympathetic, knowing how much his brother obviously cared about Frank. "You don't think he's-" 

"Well I don't like to think he is. He's- He's tough. I know he'd go down fighting at least." 

Gerard knew that Frank wasn't usually as docile as he acted with him. The boy's tough facade was put away around him, Gerard liked to think that it wasn't because Frank was scared of him but because he trusted him. Why else wouldn't he have at least attempted to lash out? 

"I'm sure he would, he sounds great." Gerard said. 

"He is, I know he'll come back soon, he has too, for his mom, you know?" Mikey said, but it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself that it was true. 

"One day." He agreed.


	9. Chapter 9

Mikey had left only a moment ago. He and Gerard shared a hug that lasted a bit too long because he knew that Mikey needed it. His brother's side smile was difficult to see but he knew that it was only safe to just stay silent. 

The second the door shut Gerard locked it, he walked over to the kitchen counter and placed down the newspaper as if it was the most delicate thing on the planet, regardless of its few crinkles. Frank was front page, just how Mikey promised, his face in all its perfection was printed in black and white for everyone to see. In some dumb way that he couldn't explain if he tried, this made Gerard jealous. Some other man most likely also had a copy of this sitting somewhere for him to look at later when he had nothing better to do. He wondered if he'd recognize Frank's beauty too, of course he would because who wouldn't. He wondered if the man would then tell all of his friends about the pretty boy he saw in the paper that day. Would he even bother to say his full name, would he remember it by the time he put the paper down after growing bored of it? 

There was no use in being upset over something you can't control, he supposed. He had his boy, he had already won. 

He read over the brief description of Frank, describing his eyes as hazel and hair as dark brown. Gerard smiled at those details, while the black and white photo did them no justice, Frank's eyes were beyond gorgeous.   
The next thing that caught his eye in Frank's description was his height and weight, it made Gerard giddy thinking of how personal these details were. They seemed insignificant but to him they were huge, before now he'd had his own predictions which were not too far off at all he'd nearly nailed his boy's height, he was small, that was obvious to anyone having the pleasure of looking at him, but only being two inches off and with nothing but glances from afar he felt pretty proud of himself. He never thought in a million years that he'd be finding the sweetest, blandest facts about his boy in a newspaper article harshly titled 'MISSING TEEN' but here he was in his kitchen, grin so wide that it hurt. He wished that he could call someone up right then and gush to them about his newfound information but he'd been cursed with having to keep what he was most passionate about to himself. When his excitement began to fade he noticed how unbearably loud the silence in the house was, it felt like he was alone and just as that thought entered his mind, his eyes widened as he was speed-walking to Frank's room, trying to keep his breathing steady as he did. He hated how he could hear each frantic step, each foot tapping the floor rapidly like a cruel reminder from the universe of how silent the house shouldn't be with a teenage boy simply existing at most in one of the rooms, it made him sweat. Frank had to still be in there, for him. He wasn't sure what he'd do if his boy wasn't in there waiting for him. He tried to silence his thoughts as he stood at Frank's room hesitating to do anything for just a second. He turned the knob to the door quickly, pulling it open with his bottom lip held between his teeth, the slight gust of wind chilling his skin as he peered in. 

"Frankie?" He called so quietly that he was positive Frank wouldn't then once more a bit firmer. 

"Gerard?" Frank called, wandering towards the sound of the man's voice. 

Gerard reached out to grasp his shoulder, visibly relived at his presence but concerned at the same time. The boys cheeks were flushed   
and his nose was rosy, he looked as if he'd been crying or was on the verge of it. Gerard couldn't imagine why Frank would be crying, he'd been left alone with nothing other than himself, he looked around the room attempting to find an explanation for the boy's distress. 

Suddenly Frank jerked his shoulder away from Gerard, looking at his hand like it has burned him. 

He ignored the boy's action. 

"What's happened to you? Are you okay, Frank? I was. . . I'm sorry all this happened so abruptly, my brother–he didn't even send a text or anything I had no-" 

"Why am I here Gerard." Frank said cutting him off. 

Gerard was a bit taken back, blinking mornonicly at the intensity in Frank's eyes as he started back at him expectantly. 

"I don't understand," Frank was standing so far away, it felt like every second he was shifting farther and farther, he wanted to grab him and pull him to his chest so that he couldn't disappear. 

"Well that makes two of us." Frank huffed, "What are you planning on doing with me, Gerard? Why am I here." He said, raising his voice. 

"I'm not planning on doing anything to you, I love you. I just want to make you happy, you deserve to be happy." He said calmly, wanting to be the stable one for Frank. He watched as the boys fists shook at his sides like he wanted to hit something, Gerard didn't feel scared. He knew that eventually the boy's explosive temper would show itself, he didn't make any movement's to show that he even noticed how upset Frank was becoming. 

"Why? I don't even know you, you're insane–there's something more to this and you're just not telling me!" He screamed. 

"Don't raise your voice at me, it's a waste." Gerard warned him. 

"I don't care what you want, you don't care about what I want." He said still in the same defiant tone, "You can't keep me locked away forever, I don't know what your fucking stupid plan is buy it's not going to fucking work, Gerard." 

Gerard was growing kind of annoyed though his sympathy for Frank was never ending, he couldn't stand hearing him act this way towards him. Yelling was one thing but hearing him curse and spit his name like burning poison was too painful, even for Gerard. All that he wanted was to keep him safe and happy and Frank was making it all too difficult. 

He rubbed a hand over his face and sighed, "I don't know what idiotic thoughts you've conjured up in that pretty little head of yours between now and an hour ago, but they're all wrong. I'm doing this for your own good." 

Frank stared at him hopelessly confused but still so angry that his glare made Gerard's skin itch. 

"You're happy here, I just want you to be happy." Gerard told him softly, his voice genuine and shaking near the end like he was unsure of how to be any more clear. 

Frank shook his head, still making sure there was a thick distance between the two of them. He flinched once his back hit the wood of his bed frame, gripping on to it with his nails for support. 

One part of him was much too close to actually believing Gerard. What if he didn't hate it here? How stupid would that make him? Being away from all of his problems at school and with his therapist. No more feeling like his mother was disappointed in him whenever he made mistakes. . . Gerard would never be disappointed in him, he knew that without a doubt. The gentle way the man spoke to him even as he cursed and screamed in his face forced him to be calm even though he didn't want to be. Even if it was technically speaking down at him, Frank couldn't make himself the slightest bit offended at it even though he wished he was. He wanted to be angry about it and unhinged, to throw and hit until his head didn't ache like it did anymore but he just couldn't. 

"I want to go home. I miss my mom. . . my friends. . ." Frank whispered weakly. 

"It's okay Frankie, You're gonna see your mom again, I'm not a monster or anything." He chucked shortly. 

The promise wasn't completely empty, Gerard did have hope for their future, for frank to have earned as much of his trust possible and be allowed the privilege of having pieces of his life back. Of course right now that perfect time was far from close. 

Gerard watched as Frank's eyes lit up a bit, he smiled feeling his heart warm, he needed to be close to him again. 

"I will?" He asked with unintentional puppy eyes. 

"Of course you will, sooner than you think if you're good for me." Gerard promised, offering his hand out to Frank. 

The boy looked down at his hand hesitantly, like looking at it would have some type of consequence. He stayed still for a second weighing his opinions. This would be being good, he supposed, showing Gerard that he trusted him enough to touch him. If he acted the part, he could see his mom again and end all of this, Gerard didn't need to know that he was faking it. 

He reached out to the man, placing his own smaller hand in his. He gasped as he was swept into Gerard's arms, tensing at first but allowing himself to relax when he felt Gerard's fingertips graze over his scalp, he closed his eyes and shivered. The hand around his waist, basically keeping him upright at this point, tightened and pressed his back firm against Gerard's chest. He could feel the man's surprisingly steady heartbeat. He compared it to his own that he could feel beating in his chest still rapidly. He wondered how Gerard could keep so calm while being yelled at, there was no way he himself could do it, he could just barely keep himself from shaking pathetically when someone was upset with him, memories of being degraded for the simplest things during his childhood always creeping up on him no matter how calm the person was being with him. He sighed, pressing his head into Gerard's chest. Even if Gerard was supposed to be the enemy, Frank couldn't help himself from feeling comfortable in the safe enclosure of the man's arms. 

"Look at you, all worked up over nothing, doll." Gerard soothed when he felt Frank finally calming down against him. 

It was embarrassing, not being quite sure if this was a time to be offended at the invalidation of his obviously valid feelings that had him blubbering only minutes ago. Or if Gerard was right, which seemed least likely at first thought but then again here he was relatively calm regardless of the act he was putting on. 

He decided to stay silent, it wasn't worth the risk of making Gerard angry even if it seemed near impossible at this point (though what did he know). Or, even worse, ruining the precious silence that had been casted gently over the room since the man had taken him against his chest. As much as he wanted to argue how wrong this all was he abandoned his recalcitrance, praying silently, to whatever God was still plausible at a time like this, that he didn't become lost in his pretending.


	10. Chapter 10

Frank was rarely the first one to come out of his room in the morning hours, most of the time he laid awake as he watched the sunrise, waiting patiently to hear Gerard shuffling around before coming out for the day with his eyes glued to the ceiling. Even though he often had trouble getting to sleep, especially now without his antipsychotics, he still couldn't move once the sun was up. He supposed that it was due to the house still being a bit unfamiliar, it didn't feel right to wander a house that felt like a stranger’s. He was sure that if Gerard could hear his thoughts he'd be disappointed, not in him, never in him, but in fact Frank didn't feel at home here. In reality he didn't think he'd ever feel at home in a place as large as Gerard’s, the walls were tall and the counters were marble, all of the unnecessary space was too foreign to him. However he did enjoy finding new parts of the house he'd never spotted before like the large room-like closets and such. His face lit up at every little surprise, not being able to leave when you please made everyday things seem incredible. 

The light from the windows softly crept in from behind the curtains, making the kitchen look and feel less cold. He was hungry, though he knew Gerard would eventually wake up and ask him what he wanted him to make for the two of them so he decided food could wait. He collected a few stray mugs and plates left out on the counters from the guest, Gerard's brother apparently, the night before. He placed everything in the sink just to declutter. He could almost hear his mother making some backhanded compliment about how he was disgustingly messy on the regular yet cleaning up under these odd circumstances, usually he'd grumble out something angsty but now even the thought of her belittling him made his eyes burn with bitter tears. 

Times like this were when he craved to be angry at Gerard, to hate and despise him as he should but it was impossible. Just the thought of his apologetic face, looking all desperate for his forgiveness after making him cry softened his heart to mush. The butterflies that he got in his stomach when thinking of how Gerard had so caringly embraced him last night made him nauseous. Maybe he was touch starved or just plain crazy but he'd rather end it all right then and there in the kitchen than dissect whatever traitorous emotions made him blush when thinking of the man who snatched his life away. 

He tried to think of the most disturbing things he could like cannibalism and perpetual suffering to distract himself into getting his head back straight, though he didn't need to for long before a paper caught his eye on the other end of the counter. 

At first glance he noticed a boy surrounded by an abundance of text but after a brief moment of impeccable investigation he came to the conclusion that that boy was in fact him from just a few months ago. His hair was a bit shorter, picture day from school last year, he'd been 16 then. 

The photo was displayed in the hall leading to his room back home, one of the most recently added to his Mother’s large collections of pictures hung up. He grimaced at such a personal part of his life being displayed in the newspaper for anyone to see. Maybe because the photo had already existed in his own house for a year, growing familiar to it in such a private setting only for it to be plastered on the front page but it made Frank want to destroy every copy of it that’d been printed nonetheless. It hadn't quite set in yet, the bold text declaring him a missing youth and the eerie description of him that was exact. 

When it finally did his legs became weak, he grasped onto the edges of the marble to stabilize himself as he took in a shaky breath. He was missing. His mother had no idea what happened to him, from her perspective he’d disappeared on the way to school and never came back home. He couldn't imagine the pain and worry she must be going through as he stood, untouched and relatively fine in some asshole's expensive kitchen. He felt the thick tears escape his eyes and didn't even bother to wipe them, his heart ached far too much for him to move even an inch. He was immobilized as he sobbed trying to be quiet but the little painful chokes clawed their way from his burning throat. He couldn't have stopped this, it was all Gerard’s fault and he knew deep down that his mother could never blame him for something like this but the guilt was still heavy and stinging in his chest. He wanted her to be able to hold him again, or better yet, hold her. They were so close that it was bordering unhealthy and he could feel her pain, the same pain, how indescribably anguishing it would be, if she’d suddenly disappeared to leave him wondering what could've possibly happened. 

He yelped, nearly collapsing out of fear as he felt two hands at each of his biceps, not moving just holding him there. He craned his neck to see behind him, Gerard's concerned face calming him down only a little bit. 

“Christ,” Frank muttered. 

“What's happened?” Gerard asked. 

His voice was oozing with sympathy and solicitude. Frank wanted to be pissed off, it was Gerard who’d put him in this situation in the first place but it felt like the most genuine expression he’d ever laid eyes on. 

“You have a newspaper with my face on it. I'm missing.” Frank said. It was straight to the point, not even allowing himself to get emotional. 

Gerard didn't seem to even take the time to think before saying, “Of course I do.” 

Frank made a face, one that Gerard couldn't make out. 

“I hope it didn't upset you, you know you're not missing though, you're with me,” Gerard clarified for him, “You're crying again, why?” 

“My mother doesn't know where I am,” Frank found himself saying. It made his chest tight just admitting it outloud, “I'm in the fucking newspaper, it's not right she's probably suffering.” 

Gerard’s hand was moving up and down his arm now, quietly shushing him, he hated it, he didn't want to be consoled. 

“Stop.” He said, pushing Gerard away by the arm. He barely budged but the message was received as he backed away on his own. 

His anger was making it difficult to feel bad for yelling as he usually would, for that he was mostly grateful. 

“You didn't like that,” Gerard said after a few moments. 

Frank stared at him blankly. 

“Me touching you.” He clarified. 

The distance between the two was comfortable enough but Frank hesitated before shaking his head, like he was scared of giving him the wrong answer. 

“Then I'll stop, I won't do anything you aren't okay with, just say the word, as long as it's within reason of course.” He smiled a bit, and Frank looked away, sighing. Gerard followed his gaze down to the paper. “If you want me to put the newspaper away I can do that.” 

Frank nodded, looking surprisingly thankful as Gerard quickly tucked the paper away into a cabinet, treating it as if it were a newborn. 

During the evening Gerard painted. There was an entire room for that, he’d only been introduced to it by an unenthusiastic wave of the hand in passing it. He assumed that it wasn't very interesting, probably just a boring old room with a desk and lamp but he couldn't have been more wrong. 

One of the two desks in the room was covered completely by art supplies and dried paints, there was no way Gerard had used it within the last few years looking at the collection of clutter. There was another on the separate end of the room that had a laptop, stained with bright miscellaneous colors on the keys, and three different supposedly empty to-go coffee cups. The room was mostly naturally lit, with blackout curtains that were drawn back allowing the twilight to cast an orange glow over the room. 

Frank sat criss cross on a large pillow in the corner with a blanket tossed over his bare legs as he watched Gerard’s skilled brush dance across the canvas. At his angle, he couldn't see what was being painted but he was almost positive that it was beautiful enough to bring tears to his eyes. The concentration of Gerard’s face and the fluidity of his fingers was mesmerizing. He'd never seen anyone care so much about something, he seemed to be so besotted with whatever he was creating, Frank felt like he was third-wheeling. He humored the idea of himself being jealous of a paint stained canvas but it wasn't too much of a joke. 

Gerard had noticed Frank nearly falling asleep as he was making dinner for the two and so he suggested that they move their meal to the art room so that Frank could relax, eat and still be blessing him with his presence as he was able to work on a commission, he told him. 

Frank had been exhausted since that morning, it made him unbearably stressed and paranoid to see himself printed on that newspaper and he felt like his body was attempting to shut down under all of the pressure. Something like this usually wouldn't have such a horrible effect on him but under his current circumstances he had no idea how bad his symptoms could get. Gerard noticed and wasn't quite sure how to bring it up, and so he didn't. He didn't ask why Frank kept fidgeting or why he’d look behind himself every once in a while. He could tell that something was off and bothering him but he didn't want to add anymore stress onto Frank’s back without being sure how to confront him about it. Until then, he tried his best to make the boy as comfortable as he could. He made his favorite meal and put together a cozy little corner in his art room for Frank to fall asleep in if he needed too.   
The boy didn't ask many questions about it, but the awe on his tired face was enough to show his curiosity.   
He watched with periodic glances to the corner Frank was slumped in as his eyes slipped closed. He was rather glad that he'd fallen asleep now, he was finally still, without the fidgeting and looking around at his surroundings it was much easier to capture each detail of the boy’s face. He tried not to be too obvious, staring and such, as he drew. He wasn't sure how Frank would take to, ontop of all that he'd been through the past two days, being drawn without his consent. Eventually, he did plan on showing Frank. Maybe even one day, when he was more comfortable with Gerard, he'd even show him his collection of sketches he'd accumulated through the years of observing Frank. Admiring him was much easier now with him being right in front of him finally. 

Once he was finished, (at least for today, since he found himself coming up with something to add or fix each time he looked at a “finished” piece) he put everything away haphazardly, tossing his clean brushes onto the monstrosity of junk he called a desk. 

He washed his hands the best he could with the small stream of water he allowed to leave the faucet so as to not wake Frank. He was so peaceful now, his features relaxed and sweet, it made Gerard’s body twitch with need at how beautiful he was, without even being awake to be told so.

He decided then that he couldn't be left to sleep in this room. It was still unfamiliar, unfit, and much too far from Gerard's room for comfort. Gerard huffed a sigh as he looked to his painting as if asking it for direction. The paint was still wet in some places, making moonlight reflect beautifully. His last touch has been to the eyes, which he didn't hadn’t had too hard of a time getting right even as his reference was drifting off, thanks to a photographic memory. The details of the eyes were shimmeringly adding life to the work, it was mesmerizing to Gerard and he knew immediately that he’d have to make some edits to it later on thanks to the moon's silent suggestion. He smiled to himself, already a bit excited to continue the artwork even though he'd just finished up for the night. 

Forcing himself out of distraction he realized again the issue at hand.

His logical side had only just barely grazed the cover of his thoughts before he was acting on them. He had to have his boy in his arms. He was gentle as he could be with his actions, feeling as though he were on auto-pilot just to stay steady since his heart was beating out of his chest. He didn't want Frank to wake up, not only because he wanted to have the privilege of carrying him to bed but because the boy was obviously having issues getting to or staying asleep at night. He wanted him to at least have one undisturbed night if he had any say in it. 

Thankfully Frank was completely out, soft snores escaping his lips as he was carried. Gerard smiled the whole way to Frank’s room, his heart was swelled with happiness, he was barely able to take just how much he adored Frank, even with his snoring, which in Gerard's opinion was precious. 

He pulled back the boy’s soft sheets with one hand, the other careful to keep Frank supported. He laid the boy down tenderly. He only stirred for a few seconds, for all of which Gerard held his breath with wide eyes, but eventually he snuggled into his pillow and his breathing slowed down telling Gerard that he was soundly asleep again. Taking a chance, Gerard reached out to stroke at the boy’s cheek, feeling the warm, soft skin without having to make Frank uncomfortable. He supposed it was wrong in some way, but what Frank didn't know could never hurt him. He prayed that eventually, hopefully soon, he'd be okay with sweet touches like these and just maybe, even come to crave them just as much as Gerard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if i missed any spelling errors !

**Author's Note:**

> hello ! this book is also on my wattpad under the same name and title but i thought i'd also put it here since i much prefer ao3 :)


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